Monday, April 29, 2019

UGANDA: When social media friends meet your family

In March this year, I met a friend. He proceeded to tag me on Twitter posts.

I chatted with him on WhatsApp about a bit about me beforetagging me.

Imagine my shock when 3 days ago, dude texts me. I spent time with someone you might know"

Stupid RUBBISH. Who?

Tells me the name and I fly in total panic.

I know what she likely told you. I grew up in her house in Toronto. But hear my version of the story".
I never used to run all over the village naked. I also never climbed the mango or mapeera tree naked. Not even the tree of tsinuli or jambuli. I always had my knickers on.
Friend replies: One day I will use this. YOU HAVE AN IMPRESSIVE CV.

The family member had met received a teen from Uganda. Saw me graduating from high school in Canada. Attended my bachelor graduation. For my Masters, she pushed me through it as I wanted to quit. Attended my graduation. The next day, she bought me 6 business suits and 2 pairs of shoes. Sent me off to work. She knows me. Gertrude walks on water. BUT SHE ALSO CANNOT SWIM THOUGH.
It was used before. In 2014, I got into a pissing match with my uncle in London UK on a Bamasaba page.

He proceed to write "Leah used to run all over the village naked and climbed trees naked.

I was mortified so I had to defend my honour. Kwenda wuko.

"But uncle, I always had my knickers on".

This was likely the biggest mistake I ever made on social media. Flood of "can you share nudes".

TUMBAFU. My profile says I am married.


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