Sunday, April 2, 2017

Things to prepare before you visit #Uganda

Today I am fasting from world news. This would not be the case if Edgar had not gone into his Kamooli and consigned our news groups to one Denis.  Because you see, Edgar is level headed.  He is the type that can tell you that your house is on fire and do you now mind buying home insurance?

Then Denis the Menace is like ... "here is what is going on in the world and by the way I am going to class now so cry me a river later when I get the little aliens from school".

So sometimes you have to wonder what kind of God can sandwich you between people like this.  This is reality, deal with it.  OR the other one who says, This is gonna be reality so go deal with it.

Wama at least I will read Uganda.

They told me that The Pearl of Africa is brimming with nice things as long as I do not arrive on the same plane as that terrorist Besigye.

That when Park Geun-hye or Erdogan are arriving, apparently all highways will be closed.

Was also told to ensure that JPAM has not been sacked and M7 is coming from America.

One muyaye said that it better not be when the King must visit his subjects mbu to Kayunga.  Is Kayunga even part of Mengo?

But the real shock was when I was told to only visit during the Dry Season.  Say what?  Apparently if I do not have a canoe, Kampala is impassable during the rains.

Alas I am being told that I dare not get sick because apparently Kamuli hospital has no medicine and my people have jiggers.

Recently one brother says that my phone will not work in Uganda because I do not have National ID as if a Canadian even needs a National ID.  So must I buy a new phone when I arrive but likely I hope Rogers Telecom has some kind of arrangement with Celtel. They used to you know.

Note to self:  1. Do not drink Kampala water.  It has been known to have feaces.  2. Do not take boda bodas.  They have been known to be criminals. 3. Do not go on Massacre Road. Far too many die on Masaka Rd. 4. Do not go via Tirinyi Road no matter how good the fruits look.  It has recently had many accidents. 5. Do not talk on the phone in public.  Thugs snatch phone. 6. Do not go via Manafa to Bududa.  They kill people there or at least avoid that Prophet. 6. Do not wear much make up.  You will be accused of having bleached your skin. 7. Do not eat rice.  It might be fake. 8. Do not....I GIVE UP!

Destination Zanzibar.... Uganda has too many problems.  Goodluck people.

Martha Leah Nangalama

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