Monday, March 6, 2017

Working on Executive Boulevard

By Owomugisha Regina

So, as he approached from the forest nearby this morning I almost asked him what job he does in this land of dreams. The way he is dressed offers me no clue. It’s very cold this morning so all of us look the same.  You cannot tell who works in the World Bank and who works in the mortuary. You cannot differentiate between us all because on this bus we look like multiple twins.  We all look like we are twins from another mother.  Being Sabato, one would expect make up and Rouge on these here faces.  The way it's cold the make up might form a cake by freezing and peeling off.  Wouldn’t that make a funny story for you guys?

Resting on your Sunday brunch after church, Nabutono made a feast for you this morning. You lucky guys but do you even know you are lucky to have Nabutono cook and clean after you?  Oh no you do not.  You complain there is no melon or pawpaw or passion fruit.  Ask me when I last tasted passion fruit juice. Then when I answer you respond with advice that I totally don't need right now.

I am getting off my bus and running across the road to catch the connecting bus with my winter coat flapping in the wind and the cold almost freezing the front unmentionable areas.  Holding on to my food flask and trying not to lose my fare card.  Mcseew.  Please honey chile don't ask questions. Because at the end of the day the color of Benjamin is the same.  Don’t ask me the size because I won't tell of the size of my Benjamin’s. Wait until I come for holidays. You will see me hiring special taxis .You will see me avoiding Matatus.  You will see me fake it till I make it, pretending I'm Jonny come lately.  Back to the reason why you should never ask what one does.

Homegirl is a mortuary make up artist.  For real I know this because I went to a place where she works.  I followed her in and asked Mr. Manager at the reception and he said Kay is in the back room.  You can go in and see her.  My snooping legs led me to the back room and there she was applying make up on late Madame Nate.

See that is the reason I don't shake people's hands after work because now I know from home girl where those hands have been and what they have been touching.  Seeing her back home during the holidays one would think her office is on Executive Boulevard.  And another thing truthfully we are all proud of what we do here.  Cooks, cleaners, mortuary make up lady etc.  No one ever needs to know because when we shed these layers of winter blues we clean up good. 

We fake accents and pretend we just saw Obama the other day.  Obama Mama, why lie to home people.  The nearest you got to Obama was in front of your TV. So now you want to sit in Java Cafe and say Me and Barack?  Oh please save that lie for another day.  Stand your ground.  Tell them Those nosy people that you are an esteemed essential and support staff to Mr. Fabian.

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