Friday, March 3, 2017
Open letter to recent #Uganda university graduates - no one owes you anything
Dear brothers, nephews and sons, you are under no obligation to get married at age 23 just because you got a degree. The future awaits. Money does not buy stability and happiness in marriage unless it has been worked hard for and with the teenage crash.
Dear sisters, daughters and nieces, your true love is not an ATM machine.
You just got your degree at the age of 23 and he just got his at age 23. Your parents paid through their noses for your degree. Imagine that the parents of the boy also paid for it.
Oja ddi okukyala (when are you coming for the official visit?) which means that the boy has to show up in style. You are both looking for jobs but because he is a boy and you are a princess, he must have a car, house and money to spend on you when he is just thinking about getting a job to support you when you start a family. I have never understood why Ugandan girls think that the man must provide for them everything.
Let us say the boy does the visiting then of course the next step is Okwanjula (official introduction) which is another money scheme. This poor guy loves you so much but still has no job. If he is lucky that he has a job, he can barely pay rent and least of all afford a convoy of cars with presents to come for kwanjula.
Now you have made it through the Kwanjula and the wedding is next. I have never seen such insanity. The poor man is asking all his friends to fundraise to pay for an expensive wedding.
"The organising committee for the wedding of Mr Jerry slated for 29th.07.2017 has reserved a seat for you on the launch meeting at Glory to God Hall -Kagando hospital on 15th.05.2017, come with a friend ..God bless you."
You can imagine what my response was to the above. STOP THE MADNESS. If you cannot afford the wedding, have something small that you can afford. The insanity of fundraising for Kwanjula and then your weddings is unacceptable and Ugandans are dying of hunger so you even contact someone in Canada to come to your wedding fundraising meeting. The devil is real.
What I am finding hurtful is Ugandan female graduates (many) are choosing to just go to churches and pay for "This is my year" and then putting so much pressure on young men to marry them. Failing that, they marry someone with 6 wives already and of course no Catholic church will wed them but the kwanjula and traditional marriage is okay.
Whatever happened to girls saying "when I grow up, I will be the best medical doctor"? OR "when I grow up, I will be a great engineer?". I will make the best lawyer on earth. I will be a business woman and help others run businesses? I will hack computers. I will be a school administrator. I will go to Parliament and fight for the rights of my people?
I will become an ambassador and represent my country all over the world? I will fall in love with a nice boy and marry him after school and make a family and nice home and have 6 babies with him. I will be a nurse and help sick people. I will be a witch doctor. I will be the next president. WHAT HAPPENED? OR even "I will be the Ugandan Barbie".... the options are limitless. Why are Ugandan young women not living their dreams and forcing young men to make lives for them?
Women Emancipation is nothing if you think that men must look after you to remain a Princess!
Nebilala, nebilala! Men are not ATMs.
Martha Leah Nangalama
Her Royal Highness Princess Leah of Bududa (BURN!)