Tuesday, January 24, 2017

#Trump decides #imbalu makes no Mugisu ready for marriage - #Uganda

By Denis Wabuyi


After dining, wining and dancing  to all the good music at a wedding/introduction or give away ceremoney as Africans call it, the elderly aunties and uncles have a tendency of pointing out, "You're next".

Just wait for the next burial, when all are settled and point to that elderly aunt of yours; "you're next". Tit for tat is a fair game, not so?

Not long ago, Martha wrote about African parents' obsession with grandchildren that when one finishes university the first thing they expect from them is marriage, baby or both and not a job, postgraduate, or doctorate. Today I am here to quarrel because i see this tendency trickling down to the young generation, actually my agemates.

To remind you a little about our culture as Bamasaba, every boy must be circumcised in a hyped cultural ceremony that normally takes a lot of time, money and sacrifice. The spirit, desire and urge for circumcision does not normally come from within. It is influenced from outside sources and sometimes induced by a herb called "ityanyi".

The downturn of events is that all this inducement doesnot lessen the pain of the knife. In fact, people who influence you to circumcision in a flip of a moment can turn into monsters if you tried to run away or show cowardice on the day of circumcision. They push you into it but you have to face it alone. No wonder nowadays they have coined a song which says; "wele wowo" meaning it's between you and your gods!

Back to marriage. Why do people push others into marriage even when they, themselves are not happy in theirs? Is it some sort of vengeance that they don't want to die alone? do they wanna use us, as experiments or actually they mean any good? You will answer that better!

My focus though is on the argument that you cannot thoroughly plan for marriage and that it comes just as an accident as has been asserted by many of my colleagues. "Get you behind me satan". How far can Uganda and Africa go with this kind of mentality? Isn't that the cause for unwanted pregnancies and abortion complications? Isn't that the reason Yusuf said that 70% of the first borns in Uganda are born by accident?

My belief has always been that any human progress to be attained and sustained must come through thorough planning for all our actions and in-actions. Now that POTUS, Trump has banned funding for family planning, it is time for African youth to take charge of their future especially in planning for their families. Yes, you can be ready for marriage. Completing one degree doesn't qualify you for marriage but rather a masters, post-graduate or even a doctorate.

"Lead us to the marriage of true minds", plan for small families, embrace health living other than the urge to impress a village, town or community. There is nothing as bad as being a reckless parent; let us go into it when we can take care of ourselves, spouses and children. There is no limit on marriage and marriage certificates have no expiry date!


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