Saturday, December 26, 2015

WRITING STYLES. KNOW HOW YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS COMMUNICATE - #UGANDA

I have written about communication styles and how you can know who is talking.  This is a continuation.
Everyone has a unique writing style.  If you take the time to learn it, you will save your life or the life of a close one.

While at Trent University, CIBC bank sent my 250 cheques to school.  Because it could not fit in the small mailbox, it was left infront of it with my name clearly marked.  Some days later I got a call that I had bounced cheques.  To the tune of $2500.  My bank was very nice about it. Took my 3 signature cards and realised the bounced cheques were signed by "me" in beautiful writing.  I write horribly. The bank refunded all the money and the shops which accepted the cheques took the hit. At that time in Canada any cheque of $1000 had to be verified against the records of your signaature.

Fast forward.  This year 3 friends were kidnapped and held in Uganda.  First friend contacts me saying "hi dia. am free. no worries".  I nearly threw my laptop out the door.  Some of you may know why this contact was not my friend.  My friend writes impeccable English.  And in addition, he knows I hate being called dia.

Another person I did not know got arrested for being someone else.  Luckily, I knew the writing styles of both so there was no way in hell the guy arrested was the one they were claiming him to be.

Recently my friends kept saying a friend of mine was okay.  But that friend's phone was sending me messages saying he was okay.  So I tried something "one of your kids is sick". Reply, "which one?".  I said name them all and I will tell you which one.  Reply "come on, dia, just tell me which kid".  But today, he calls me "mukyala gwe, omanyi nti nkwagala nyo.  Abana bange bali batya?".  I told him "you are a useless father".  He replied with something that made me confirm it is him.  Besides, I have recordings of his voice". Then naturally I proceeded to abuse him.  The whole time he just laughed but this is what life is.  My friend knows very well that it is his voice I wanted and the silly things to ensure it was him.  We used Luganda because that is how I communicate with him.

I have another friend whom I always tell "You are the worst husband and lousiest father ever".  His reply is always "I love you too".  So try to emulate that and deceive people.

There are other people I communicate only in Lugisu or English and there are always side jokes that people would not know.  Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.  Uganda is at war.  You never know when you will be grabbed or someone close to you.  How do you tell me "Give me your skype name" when I have been skyping with you for 2+yrs.  Do we look that stupid?

Martha Leah Nangalama
Moncton, Canada
Bududa Hospital is a Death Trap
Stop arresting opposition. #MuseveniMustGo

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