Saturday, April 11, 2015


Emmer Young Warren
February 21, 2014



Dear Jocelyn Tracy Keko daughter of Dorothy and Alex Achola of Tororo. I know your name "keko" means "early in the morning", but by the time am done with you, your name will have turned to Kuku,
which means chicken in Kiswahili.
My name is H.E the great Ssabalwanyi, conqueror of Congo, modern day colonialist of the sudan, the congo and the great lakes region. Resistor of the mighty American empire who signs everything I
want the way I want it whether you or Obama want it or not. In short , am just a modern day absolute emperor so listen carefully, young girl.  I have heard your song "THIS IS HOW WE DO IT" but had I only known what you were referring to by the "doing", I would have already sent Afande Omara to cane
you and your whole clan like I have always done the Besigyes and Lukwagos. To me, you are no different from the above politicians. I mean, why should a man always be walking with a man as in "walk to work". In fact, let me first look at the bill once again. It may need amendment to include " continuously walking with a person of the same sex suspiciously". Ye, I often wonder. I can't even imagine "how do you do it" when both humans are females? Is there another apparatus that germinates once you are there or you use your navals? The day this government gets you, you shall be asked to demonstrate it
in the constitutional court as evidence. I have also seen you moving moving around this ka young daughter of mine with a flat stomach who I often watch on TV dancing around and singing a song
about "ice cream" and putting on suspicious colours and costumes. The only colour that is prudent to use in this Uganda is YELLOW and Any bright colours like PINK, extremely bright green, orange etc shall be a cause for suspicion as regards this new law. What you have been doing together is still not clear to me but the NRM will soon find out and put you to book. The NRM has fought people with worse HAIR than you, like Alice #Lakwena, Cecilia Ogwal, Alica Alaso etc so be warned. You wrote on your sijui bookface wall, saying that if I sign the anti-homosexual ity bill, we shall remain backward. But this MUST STOP.
BACKward? Between, a homosexual and a straight person, who utilizes the back part of a person most?? Backward? So you are implying that if all Ugandans were homosexuals then we would move forward? And that the crested crane standing with one leg on our emblem is gay? what type of economics are your
using. Do you even understand what economics is? Cob web theory, forces of demand and supply,  ceteris paribus? Do you? Wacha wewe! Don't forget that I have a hand in how pepsi and Mountain Dew operate. So before you make noise, think about where you get your pinky lip stick from. Now, unless you cut off your breasts and deepen your voice, dressing like Bobi wine or eddie kenzo will never make you

I have already signed the law and also informed your elders, the japadhola from Tororo to ensure that they get you a man to marry you, as a corrective therapy, in case we find you out. Let us see if your
womb will give birth to another person who looks like you. If you don't want, please board a plane and leave this disciplined soil within 90 days and go and stay in the White House and we see if Obama will "spare" you after what he did to #Beyonce. But we shall not allow such here as long as am the life president of this country. And please as you go, leave that ka gal behind, we need our scientists to study her and ascertain the reason why her stomach remains that flat when intelligence sources claims she eats 12 rolexes, and whole TV-chicken at Wandegeya daily. With such kind of behaviour and eating habits, we suspect she may be starting a #rebel group.
....For God and my country.....
By:H.E YK MUSEVENI (Allegorical)

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